Are You Guilty Of Adultery?

In this regular feature, Dave and Tom respond to questions from listeners and readers of The Berean Call.Here’s this week’s question:“Dear Dave and Tom,I know you have discussed divorce before on your program but I’m still confused about something.If a man commits adultery, and his wife divorces him, is she committing adultery if she marries again?Suppose the man repents and then marries another woman, is he committing adultery?And, are they, having both remarried, in a continuing state of adultery?”

Tom:

Now Dave, this may sound like a trick question, but I’ve had people come up to me at conferences, and so on, and this is really getting to them because the last thing they want, they want to please the Lord, and what they don’t want to do is be in a situation in which, maybe in their heart and mind they think just by being married they are continuing in adultery.

Dave:

Well, Tom, we’ve had people write to us who got involved in a cult that really reaches this.In fact, here’s a man and his wife, they were divorced, and I don’t remember the circumstances, and they each remarried.They had children from their remarriages, and his advice, no, his command was, You must divorce your present spouses and go back together.Now, it’s getting worse, this is not helping anything.So, divorce is wrong but the first divorce was wrong, but the next one would be okay, because you are going to go back to the first union, and what does that do to these children, and so forth.

Tom:

And the second union.

Dave:

Yeah.So Tom, two divorced people marrying one another, it’s getting worse.You know, Jesus said—Well, let’s read what He said, because the Pharisees brought this to Him.Now this is Matthew:19:3The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause?
See All...:“The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him,—see, this is a test question, We’re going to get you—we’re going to get you in a place where, is it lawful to give tribute to Caesar or not?Well, if you say, Yes, all the Jews will be on your case.If you say, No, the Romans will be on your case.What are you going to say?Jesus said:Show me a coin.Well, who’s image is that?Well, it’s Caesar’s.All right, Render to Caesar the things that are Caesar’s and to God the things that are God’s.Now that was not just getting himself out of a difficult situation, he laid down a principle which the Muslims do not accept, the separation between church and state.Okay.In Islam, the church—well, it’s not a church—the mosque, the mullahs, they must run the government.Okay.

Tom:

Sure, this is Shariá, this is Islamic law.

Dave:

God says, No, Jesus said, No.Okay.Separation between church and state is a bit troubling when some people try to bring them together, here in the United States even.

Tom:

Yeah, but I think about Europe.I was just there for almost three weeks, going from Austria to Germany and Switzerland, and they have state churches there.It has just killed the belief among the people.

Dave:

Right.Okay, so anyway, Jesus says, Matthew:19:3The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause?
See All...:“The Pharisees also came to Him, tempting Him,—that’s about as far as I got reading that verse, so let’s go back.—and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause?”Okay.He says, Haven’t you read that He which made them at the beginning made them male and female, and said:For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife:and they twain shall be one flesh?Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh.What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.”You hear that at every biblical wedding.“And they say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away?He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered (or allowed you) you to put away your wives:But from the beginning it was not so.”Okay.Then he makes it a pretty tough statement here.In other words, it’s allowed, but this is not what God wants.

Tom:

No, because it’s going to be as you inferred, that problems that something like that creates just don’t go away, they just keep developing.

Dave:

It’s horrible, and furthermore, Tom, it’s a basic violation of morality, because this couple stood together and they made promises before witnesses, Until death do us part, and now they have gone back on those promises.You know, I think, Tom, we have some friends, leaders in the Christian world who have been divorced several times, and you wonder.How can they possibly, with a straight face, after they have already violated this vow several times, and yet they stand up with another woman or another man, and you are going to make the vow again!You have already violated it.So, it undermines all integrity, all human integrity, that’s how bad it is.But anyway, because of the hardness of your hearts, okay, otherwise you are going to be committing adultery, and so forth, God says Okay.But let’s read what Jesus says:Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication—now He’s saying if she had been unfaithful—and shall marry another, committeth adultery:and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.And the disciples say, Wow, that’s tough!“His disciples say unto him, If the case of the man be so with his wife, it is not good to marry.I mean, You’re getting yourself into hot water here, you had better just stay away from this whole thing.What does Jesus say, and this is very important.He said unto them:“All men cannot receive this saying, save they to whom it is given.”Now, it seems that the Lord, He doesn’t want divorce, and I’m not condoning divorce, but it seems that the Lord is saying, Well, there are some people who just cannot live up to this standard that God has set, and I’m not going to unscramble eggs.I know there are various groups that say, Well, you can divorce, but you can’t be in a leadership position.I’m not even dealing with that, we’re just dealing with what the Lord says.And Tom, I find that sometimes we can be very legalistic and very unbending and very unmerciful.I remember an old preacher many years ago saying, You can be just as clear as crystal on doctrine and just as cold and hard.And it seems like the Lord is having some grace here.

Tom:

So obviously, a couple in that situation, and you know they created the situation, but yet God will be merciful.I mean, they are going to have to deal with issues that come about by these divorces, yet they are not living in continual adultery.I mean, they have repented and maybe remarried later, but it’s not a continuing adultery situation, is it?

Dave:

I don’t think so, from what Jesus said.