Is God's Love Unconditional?

Gary: Now, Contending for the Faith. Here is this week’s question: “Dear Dave and T.A., I find your discussion about God’s love very interesting. But it raises a question that I’ve struggled with. I have often heard that God’s love is unconditional, which is said to mean that God loves me no matter what. Yet I also find verses like ‘Jacob I loved, Esau I hated.’ Jesus says in John:15:10If ye keep my commandments, ye shall abide in my love; even as I have kept my Father's commandments, and abide in his love.
See All...: ‘If ye keep My commandments, ye shall abide in My love, even as I have kept My Father’s commandments and abide in His love.’ This sounds conditional to me.”

Tom: Dave, we have been exploring many aspects of God’s love, but it’s a very strong teaching in the church that God’s love is unconditional. Now, there’s some truth to that, but there are also some problems with it, aren’t there?

Dave: See, Tom, it’s a difficult subject, and this man is asking us to say more…deal with more than we can deal with in a short program. (In fact, just one segment of a program.) Is God’s love unconditional? Well, we talked about it earlier in the program. God’s love does not depend upon whether I am lovable or lovely. He loves because love comes from the source of love. It’s not in response to the performance. Even when I fail, even when I disobey, God still loves me!

On the other hand, it is conditional, because although a father or a mother loves a child that has just disobeyed, they still have to discipline them and reprove them. Jesus said, “As many as I love [this is in Revelation:3:9Behold, I will make them of the synagogue of Satan, which say they are Jews, and are not, but do lie; behold, I will make them to come and worship before thy feet, and to know that I have loved thee.
See All...]…as many as I love [in fact, it’s twice in that chapter], as many as I love, I rebuke and chasten.”

Tom: Dave, even “scourge,” if that’s necessary.

Dave: That’s right. Somebody could say, “Wait a minute! Just…just love me!” See, people want this—let’s say a homosexual, or someone who’s living in adultery—“Just accept me! Can’t you just accept me?” Well, yes, I accept you as a person, but I am concerned about what you’re doing with your life. I’m concerned about your sin. I’m concerned about where this is going to lead you.

So on the one hand they want unconditional acceptance, and they equate that with love—unconditional love. But on the other hand, if you really love someone, you want to correct them. You want to bring the truth to them.

So you would have to say love is unconditional but it’s conditional, because…you quoted the verse where Jesus says, “If you keep My commandments, you will abide in My love, even as I have kept My Father’s commandments and abide in His love.” He talks about “abiding in Him as a branch.” So, what that means is if I am walking in obedience to Him, His blessing can be upon me. But if I’m not, He may have to discipline me. Well, He still loves me, but I’m not receiving the benefit of His love that I could be receiving.

So, Tom, it’s not an easy question to answer, but the answers are given to us in the Word of God.

Tom: Dave, it seems to me that those who wrestle with this—and, as you said, it’s difficult. But the concern here is that those who would fall on the side of God being a warm puppy and just such a friend that He’ll overlook all these things that we may do that really, in truth, are offensive to people, let alone a righteous and holy God. We get hundreds of letters, and many hundreds of letters a week, a month—plenty from prisoners. And these are interesting letters, for the most part, because rarely, in contrast to many who believe they’re in prison wrongly accused and they’re “innocent,” and so on, the letters that we get from people who really understand what they’ve done, they have a heart of repentance, and they know that God is even going to use them there and give them another chance within the prison! Now, these are transformed individuals, who, when you say, “What about God’s conditional love?”, they say, “Yes, but I’m here because of the wrong that I did. And I’m paying my debt to society, and if God chooses to get me out this, great. I’m still going to be used of Him either in here or outside of here.”

Dave:  And many of them say they thank God that they’re in there, because this is where they got straightened out. This is where they came to know the Lord.

Now, going back to what we were talking about, “Well, just accept me.” Solomon puts it like this in the Book of Proverbs. He says, “Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.” Flattery—you can flatter someone, but if you are a real friend of someone, you won’t just let them go on to destruction! You will correct them. If you really have a love for a person, as Christ said.

So, this idea that’s out there: “Accept me unconditionally. Love me unconditionally.” Well, if I really love you, I’m going to correct you, because I have your best at heart! And love is not going to allow you just to go on in that condition. And this is God’s love to us.

Tom:  And, Dave, another part of this person’s question is “Jacob I loved”—there’s God’s love. It seems to be unconditional love. But how can unconditional love relate to “Esau I hated”?

Dave: Well, you have to understand that in Hebrew “hated” doesn’t mean to hate the way that we mean it. But it’s in contrast to the love for Jacob, God’s regard for Esau was hatred by comparison. It doesn’t meagn that He doesn’t love Esau. He wants to bless Esau, but He also knows it’s on the basis of God’s foreknowledge that Esau is going to reject Him. And furthermore, I think it’s talking not just about those two individuals, because this is quoting from Malachi. This is a statement that God made long after Esau and Jacob were born. But it refers to the nations. They represented two nations. But the psalmist said, “I hate them with a perfect hatred.” That is, He hates the sin, but He loves the sinner.